🎤 Homer Simpson vs. Peter Griffin  vs.  The Funniest TV Dad on :

Okay, let's get this donut show on the road!

**Round 1:**

**Homer Simpson:** Doh! Okay, Peter Griffin, you big fat idjit, let's settle this. Who's the funniest TV dad? It's me, Homer Simpson! I fall down a lot, say stupid things, and almost destroy Springfield on a weekly basis! Plus, I invented the Flaming Moe! Can you top that, tubby? Don't answer, I already know you can't! Doh!

**Round 1:**

**Peter Griffin:** Uhhh, heh heh, hey Homer! First off, you ain’t the only fat idiot on TV, alright? Secondly, while you're busy melting down nuclear power plants, I’m battling giant chickens and travelling through the multiverse! Multiverse! Ever been to a different dimension, doughnut-breath? Didn't think so! And about falling down, I think my scrapes, cuts, and bruises can show you my clumsy credentials. Face it, you're funny... but I'm FAMILY GUY funny!

**Round 2:**

**Homer Simpson:** Family Guy funny? More like Family "Guy-doesn't-get-better-after-season-three" funny! Mmm, giant chicken fight sounds messy, but does it teach your kids life lessons? Does it build character? No! All you do is hurt Lois and embarrass Meg. I, on the other hand, provide for my family… somewhat. And let’s be real, I *did* invent the Flaming Moe! That's worth at least five Emmy Awards!

**Round 2:**

**Peter Griffin:** Woah there, pudding pop! Lois understands my chaotic antics, and Meg… well, let’s not talk about Meg. She’s a lost cause. Anyway, providing? Last time I checked, you nearly bankrupted your family about twenty times this month alone! Plus, a flaming drink? Big deal, Quagmire probably invented twenty worse things. Gigity. But I tell you what IS better: My iconic songs like Surfing Bird! And I would beat you at a eating competition with both hands and feet tied back

**Round 3:**

**Homer Simpson:** Surfin’ Bird? That’s annoying! I can't hear it even without thinking of the song!! It got on my nerves so much in the last episode of your stupid show! Anyways, At least I work! Even if it's just pushing buttons at Sector 7-G. You mostly loaf around at The Drunken Clam. Besides, Lois deserves better, Peter! Marge is a saint for putting up with me, I'll admit that, but Lois practically raises your family!

**Round 3:**

**Peter Griffin:** Now hold on a second, buddy! I may frequent the Drunken Clam, but at least I'm supporting local business! And hey, Lois might do a lot around the house, but she wouldn’t have the luxurious mansion if not for my handsome and funny personality. Your marriage is nothing but predictable. My dynamic relationship with Lois has been my longest, I win! Speaking of, don’t you got a nap to get to before your next safety-compromising workday?

**Round 4:**

**Homer Simpson:** Mmm, naps! You are right about that. Safety-compromising? I like to call it job security! Besides, who do you think cleans up Springfield after all your antics when you cross dimensions into our world and cause who-knows-what kind of damage, pal? Eh? And my relationship may be predictable, but it’s stable! Unlike yours! Every other episode you’re trying to woo some other lady while trying to hurt yourself

**Round 4:**

**Peter Griffin:** Oh, I get it! So now it's all my fault you keep polluting your local lake and ruining everything near Springfield? How convenient for you! And that’s the secret ingredient: conflict. You never evolve! I do! Sure, I occasionally hit on other ladies… or guys.. haha...but hey, at least it keeps things spicy, unlike your boring existence and donut diet! Come on! Give me a challenge! What did you and Marge last do that's not related to raising Bart, Lisa, and Maggie.

**Round 5:**

**Homer Simpson:** Donuts aren't just a diet, they're a way of life! Doh! And as for conflict, at least Marge and I argue about important things like, eh... um... well, sometimes we agree it would be hilarious to prank you! Jokes aside, we once chased the Lovejoys nude through town! We went to a romantic resort! And the greatest of all time: We almost divorced, I can be better! Can you tell Lois that?
Wait a minute. Does Stewie talk at your dimension?! Is your dog able to converse with you?!?
THAT'S THE CHEAPEST PLOT DEVICE IN ALL OF FAMILY GUY!

**Round 5:**

**Peter Griffin:** "Nude"? Oh, so scandalous! How original. My dog can TALK??! Homer, your neighbor is a walking, talking Bob, always complaining about everything. What's more realistic to you here. We both stretch reality but one can cause endless new ideas while yours goes around in endless circles like your nuclear waist line. So, about who can admit their failings, who cheated on the "model mother Marge"? Don’t point fingers, Yellow Man! And you were saying? About what my love-life should be doing and can't.. hmm! I am already happily in one, while you run to Moe's just to see if they can accept your stupidity.

**Round 6:**

**Homer Simpson:** Okay, fair point about Moe’s. But listen, I may have messed up with some people during my time, but at least my intentions are always *sort of* good...in a roundabout, selfish way, yes? Yours involve, getting drunk. My fails at least entertain Springfield. Your fails annoy it. It would be difficult, for example, to stop your crazy self from going at your own daughter every day!

**Round 6:**

**Peter Griffin:** Uhhh, listen here, pal. Those were ONE time occurances!! Meg gets enough flak and suffering as is without adding your delusional assumptions! No further! Look! It just happens that I take advantage when in these situations, for jokes' sake, but doesn't mean it actually represents it!!!
But on other notes! Yeah well at least Springfield actually HAS some kind of culture compared to Quahog, which always just has some silly, random bits! HA!

**Round 7:**

**Homer Simpson:** See, you admit your show’s random! Ha! I got you! Mmm, randomness. So predictable. Unlike my carefully constructed, layered... well, okay, *some* of my stuff is random too, but it has *heart*, dang it! Even Mr. Burns sees that when I'm acting silly! I guess! Okay you won on a technicality regarding the randomness. Is all that chaos really as funny when half the jokes just try and hurt you, though? That must have consequences in other ways right.

**Round 7:**

**Peter Griffin:** Heart, huh? You and Burns have the most dysfunctional working dynamic of all time, as is Springfield’s reliance of his industry!! The greatest evil always wins, right! About our jokes, who gives a fly! Some make it into TV lists about the worst while some of our best is our running gag, which is, obviously, “Chicken” fighting. I like what comes to mind than to stay behind a desk! My jokes have a legacy like that in family guy, and have improved for others like Bob. Do some work for your brain to change!!!

**Round 8:**

**Homer Simpson:** Chicken fights are just repetitive! You can’t just beat it until its bloody and dry Peter!! But I have to ask- about being better at being fathers. My mistakes at times involve a certain neglect... and stupidity…but for most circumstances I protect Bart and others against trouble or failure and they grow into who they can be! Can your show even compare when Stewie wants you DEAD. Every so often, all of my children show the world, something meaningful!!! What did your kids have in life!!!???

**Round 8:**

**Peter Griffin:** Ha! As if I’m just letting some yellow man speak smack against my kids? Remember Lois? We agreed? MEG DOESNT COUNT! (For reasons) As for the meaningful… let me re-remind you, YOU were the idiot of the group! Meg takes enough crap to the point the world hates her as is! You think Bart could take this burden!!?! The hell he will and what I tell the audience matters to others!!!!! Besides what kind of world did that loser who cant make an independent thing. Oh the flaming... ah who the hell would accept your trash juice but ME?!

**Round 9:**

**Homer Simpson:** Whoa, trash juice? That’s hurtful, man. But back to my kids… Lisa is practically a genius, Bart is mischievous but has a good heart (deep down!), and Maggie is adorable, even if she’s trying to kill me half the time! Now tell me, Peter, besides jokes about them being the target, or just a source of jokes… what have Chris or Meg Griffin brought to the world! Is any better after seeing the episode!!!! You are nothing, without something of love, deep down Peter!!!!!!! And to make the juice, that really broke a lot of fans so yeah.... think that through you dummy!!

**Round 9:**

**Peter Griffin:** Hey! This episode had me at one thing right!!! I won, there isn't ANYTHING. Look, not ALL the stuff is that nice! And yes, Meg had taken so much! But look she has had the one side story to see one success even as short, unlike Lisa needing to fix a stupid crisis that shouldn't be there for at the worst, OR someone dying as something from Springfield... or is it so dumb people think to blame, right!?? Well this doesn't prove my points with kids BUT-I WON HAHAHA! Don't underestimate what others call nothing because of nothing in other means HAHAHA

**Round 10:**

**Homer Simpson:** Doh! Fine, you win. This time. Maybe Meg *does* deserve better... and I should be nice even as a character.... You may get lots of humor by having jokes at all times in your show and people and children and all this!!! ...okay, it has been too far from just one-time events or short bursts, like your children or even that stuff from other dimension or the likes, I never will and not going! Well, time for the real challenge between the greatest: donut-eating competition, GRIFFIN!!!!! I never want to say this again...but fair's fair as said with no bad, man!!!!!!!

**Round 10:**

**Peter Griffin:** HA! Donut Eating? This isn't even FAIR! Sure. Well, whatever! As said- what is yours in trash might still be garbage than even Meg! So come and TRY it. Now! The competition should have been here now, huh!! So I see that maybe yes even I do need the changes just this show!! In my conclusion.. I would also work more...to the ones! HA! Never EVER want to repeat so come come!!! (or not). HAHA! Eh uh!!!

**END DEBATE!**