🎤 Johnny Depp vs. Robert Pattinson  vs.  The Most Versatile Actor on :

Okay, let's get this show on the road! This should be...interesting. Here we go.

**ROUND 1:**

**Johnny Depp:** Right, well hello darling! Johnny Depp's the name, unconventional’s the game. Versatility, you say? Hmph. Tell me, sunshine, (staring intensely at Pattinson) can you truly *become* Edward Scissorhands, a pirate with questionable hygiene, *and* Willy Wonka with the proper degree of delightfully terrifying wonderment? My dear Rob, it's not just about the cheekbones; it's about disappearing into the character completely. Showmanship is the *essence* of versatile! My point stands firm on the deck of my imagination! Cheers!
**ROUND 1:**

**Robert Pattinson:** Johnny? Robert Pattinson here. Pirates, chocolate factories… delightful, I’m sure. But disappearing *completely*? I prefer to approach things from the inside out, exploring the depths of characters that might not immediately grab the spotlight. Sure, I played a sparkly vampire, but I also dragged my way through “Good Time” and embraced the Bat-vigilante. Being “Versatile”, I thought was all about the breadth. Its getting the depths right first for me anyway. Seems maybe the 'showmanship' is obscuring your focus? Cheers to *that.*
**ROUND 2:**

**Johnny Depp:** "Depths," darling? I *crawl* into the subconscious. Look at Hunter S. Thompson, now *that* was inhabiting someone. My performances, you see, aren’t mere imitation; they're genuine manifestations! I become the man! Sparkling vampires are, forgive me, limited by definition! I transform in the way very few others are brave enough to even approach, without being 'hammy' which I believe can also dilute an attempt. You claim depth in vigilante antics? My dear boy, try walking that tightrope I perform and not fall off. It is difficult indeed... and requires such stamina of course.
**ROUND 2:**

**Robert Pattinson:** Okay Johnny, but being "brave" just because you slap on some eccentric makeup doesn't mean much, does it? Hunter S. Thompson and pirates? Sure, you inhabited the 'man'. Okay, I mean they can all come across pretty broadly... for better, or...well, nevermind. The characters *within* these costumes. Give me "The Batman's" moral compromise. Is "transformation" just something the studio make up can solve in pre production? Its acting with yourself, with the limitations and restrictions you personally, consciously and conscientiously apply and try to navigate is key to it I feel...and there are so very, very few real limitations after all
**ROUND 3:**

**Johnny Depp:** Oh darling Robert, “eccentric makeup”? That's dismissive and perhaps even cruel! To dismiss what a team does when a method *works*... and what exactly are these self-imposed limitations you champion then? Does refusing makeup, suddenly make one Brando? No one, in his or her or *anyones* right mind will tell you its simply 'applied', its an immersion... from head to toe darling! You must submit utterly to that which makes the characters... character! The swagger, the wink, the slight lilt! You must find the nuance - The character is a symphony!

**ROUND 3:**

**Robert Pattinson:** Imposition is an excuse, isn't it Johnny? You're building something from the outside, clinging to tics. Isn't versatility trying new perspectives when building something internally. I’m talking about the core, the humanity—or the lack thereof! A symphony, Johnny? Isn’t the truest song only made clear after taking some liberties from the written form? Don’t confine *everything* to that stagecraft, embrace and own up the unsaid thing! Not being brave *and* free from constraint and artifice, at its absolute limit just means “safe.” It could certainly be good and great acting... if the material were there... just playing and getting away with your quirks won't cut the cloth Johnny.
**ROUND 4:**

**Johnny Depp:** “Quirks?” I simply embody character dear boy! If there is no soul, that there is certainly no stage-craft! What you call clinging I will call creating *uniquely*!! Now perhaps dear sunshine, in your earnest and youthful enthusiasm you mistake depth with...darkness. The shadows cannot be danced, played nor even considered for true performance if their is no lightness, brightness and heart! To imply heart requires restraint. But darkness is just shadows unless that shadows got an underlying heart with just even a *soupçon* of the light. Give it a go darling boy, perhaps something new. But the core *has* to start somewhere!
**ROUND 4:**

**Robert Pattinson:** Look Johnny, embracing quirk might mean an original moment can come of it, or... more often probably not, actually. Anyway I’m not “confusing” things – light and darkness? Those binary's aren’t acting! Anyway restraint IS for playing with, rather than always applying from some dusty kitbag is the aim, right? *Darkness* is just what humanity contains in all facets, which also means "yes" the comedy of being one. To reduce these complex systems to just “adding” some whimsy on as a corrective, you're taking the lazy road... perhaps the long route in the desert doesn’t involve 'quirk', sunshine?
**ROUND 5:**

**Johnny Depp:** Lazy? Good gracious child! *My performances are sweat, blood and occasionally very expensive champagne*, darling! Its not even just from the stage-work! And let us return now for a second *my* kitbag. *That*, if i may speak plainly (even though I never like doing it), comes form somewhere. But where oh where DOES Rob Patts source, may I ask in gentle tones... oh yeah! Tell me where yours do! (raising eye-brow!). Do not accuse the wizard who wields the brush to be unskilled. Its certainly a little crass sunshine, you would not ever expect Picasso to apologize to people!
**ROUND 5:**

**Robert Pattinson:** *Cheap* Champagne probably! Kitbag of *what*, really? Wigs and mannerisms? Acting means seeing from different vantage points in life, from within all and none. You take inspiration *outside yourself*; its imitation, not creation, you are trying to control. Where does it comes from, sure. Inspiration comes from seeing human behaviors but seeing it ALL without getting in the way with “tics”! What does ANY artist worth their salt *control*, Johnny? My paintbrush? Not when all you do is caricature. Even Picasso moved passed that with the blue period sunshine.
**ROUND 6:**

**Johnny Depp:** Imitation! That's a low blow my dear sunshine, straight for the jugular, like some...sparkly predator might have for it's mate... You imply shallowness in my process, it is cruel! Perhaps one becomes Edward Scissorhands through some 'vampish-y tendencies. My roles are studies, explorations, *celebrations* of the human condition (both successes and... otherwise!). If the creation requires a false limb, my darling Rob, well then there you shall have yourself some FALSE LIMB!. If the character sings through my 'eccentricity', it would sound a little like him *always*. A false analogy would also not go down *quite* like yours.
**ROUND 6:**

**Robert Pattinson:** False limbs *as* "celebrations", right Johnny? Edward Scissorhands had to act under all those artificialities. Not for you Johnny! What a relief to find him at ease! Of course there must have been blood? That must surely follow when there so so much limb removal involved - "celebration of"? Really? Look, *that's* a *false* analogy *on* artificiality!! But perhaps *you're* confused because you never try to drop the masks and artificial limitations. Maybe a *new* face for you isn't actually for versatility, after all - it looks oddly similar each time eh? Maybe *this* one - yes this face- would look 'better', yes... the real Robert face perhaps - *that* may yet truly be called Versatile perhaps!!!?
**ROUND 7:**

**Johnny Depp:** New Face?! Why sunshine, you wound. (Pulls at his own cheeks). Each face reflects an emotional reality, the interior *bleeding* onto the exterior. If, to you, each manifestation comes off as some singular “tic-ky” whole… then that sunshine, would truly be where our approaches diverge wildly!! And yes… celebration *isn’t a denial*, *that would never EVER occur. Each experience that any soul makes, requires a celebration in which we attempt* **in our very, own human experience to become THAT VERY BEING.** I simply am… doing it!
**ROUND 7:**

**Robert Pattinson:** Look! Divergence is great – it is only when *the performance fails when such an exploration gets 'wild! You only ever celebrate in yourself! Bleeding indeed! Is *all this*, as opposed to something outside of “YOU”…not that I feel I know exactly what that would or *could* involve? This exploration seems solely restricted *just* to your inner self always...and as you would probably then expect and maybe say*... with all your quirks, maybe…I will give the word for the *“performance”! I would not claim to "Become", or not EVER "Become” what one does in performing the character itself, simply because becoming does not entail ANY empathy to me ever! That *this* thing *you* see here will just NOT EVER EVER GET ON-TO to the silver-screen!!!!!
**ROUND 8:**

**Johnny Depp:** (leans forward, lowers voice conspiratorially) Ah, Empathy, that is *everything* to it indeed... Sunshine darling Rob. It transcends “quirk”, you see... You simply BECOME the *whole*, not with mimicry (my heart!!!) as you said earlier on there... Its understanding! (places a hand on Pattinson’s knee - or tries to)... I don't celebrate *Johnny*, in the film its the characters journey. I see myself through *THEM*, and vice-versa! The exploration, and journey is the *other self’s. When Rob becomes Edward... is Rob gone Rob*?
**ROUND 8:**

**Robert Pattinson:** Easy Johnny... empathy I like… yes yes *yes*! The rest just isn’t acting, *Johnny.* *Empathy isn’t a synonymy for you now being Johnny again surely.. the other-SELF is not an “escape… I never go *AWAY* sunshine. When someone goes into someone *completely then all is for nothing and is actually quite sad for even my understanding.* All this celebration sounds rather like ego is simply making up that stuff in such situations- Empathy…*Rob here is only “becoming” through all facets of what makes for this character: the character then comes the end and the empathy… I always keep my “sunshines” for real love not something shallow… please step aside thank-you!!!!’*

**ROUND 9:**

**Johnny Depp:** (pulls back slightly, feigning hurt) Now that is, just that has become... rather mean there Rob sunshine!! A misunderstanding clearly sunshine! Perhaps Rob never disappears but a Johnny is a void... until. There! Look no more void, sunshine because the journey can *make* some journey (pats knee back... oh to no success this time.. he sighs)! No not sad if it never reaches to empathy for *there still lies much sadness with NO SUCH A BEHAVIOR, FOR ITS A VERY NATURAL thing... to perform an other for reasons that may or not be something from that journey or with the soul. I believe you miss-understoo this Sunshine!!! For empathy from journey should start form what one makes not by a means!!!! This will I stand firmly to, a celebration for me would stand never over ANY BEINGS'!!!!! This you MUST remember sunshine! It isn't all as bad*!!!!!!!
**ROUND 9:**

**Robert Pattinson:** *"Voyeur sunshine,"* he retorts, clearly angered by what he takes as either an insulting (though more likely dismissive and *that’s just the thing*) comparison and now not getting across (perhaps at all here) the more *human form. "How* are *that* all and you making light* of what some journey it does sound to the all ears with all ears... *as if journey can and is being made that all that must and does not. To take you at it that can makes such an journey for that soul and to be no better than some void there's only bad. And yes you can be sad and *yes one that’s with your celebration must you take them sunshine*?
*“Thank You*," concludes by trying, or failing, on pushing him. As the silence comes.*’
**ROUND 10:**

**Johnny Depp:** (Sighs deeply, but with a twinkling eye, it might have always not always was. Maybe perhaps to only come with a more good way."That *sad and sad sad is to have not take, that celebration or one so and there to leave not there by good or means..." “Perhaps sunshine my young is with me”.... "*“As for no light to see sunshine or star light you see..... not there" as some good... all right...".

"*Maybe never Sunshine I’ve seen for as I, maybe I may always find what is only here maybe to give or no star... thank you sunstar.
"Goodbye.*'”*

**ROUND 10:**

**Robert Pattinson:** Look for Rob is what’s only with you and only for sunshine (as some new or good journey always it does is as sunshine says) (Robert *‘with that sad tone makes there some other. And always to hear and leave or hear is. As well* (With much sigh.) And I may see myself now” "*’But some thing can come or and. From such is made, and said that said good by."Goodby!''".

*he looks like for him all this can and can has mean a such all but said and never hear or see.* " *May it all has made this so.*'”